Your surefire route to a lie-in every morning
You get bored at work, we get bored at work; the difference is, we don't get sacked for playing these games. Not yet, anyway.
Collected below are some of our favourite games on t'internet, so get stuck in and putt, kick, or skate your way to the JobCentre.
If you know something we don't, send a link to your favourite online (sports) game headlined The greatest games ever ... to sports.editor@guardianunlimited.co.uk (with a few lines telling us why it's so good) and we'll add them to our list ? vigorous quality control guaranteed, reader.
CRICKET
Pelt the player: Cricket fans, feeling let down by the events of the summer? Here is your chance to get revenge on the suspects of the spot-fixing scandal. Corner one of the suspects in the Lords media centre and throw as many rotten tomatoes at him as possible in the time limit. A simple and mightily effective way to take out any frustration. P45 rating **
Banglacricket: If you like to play shots all around the wicket then this is the game for you. Take up the role of the batting side to score as many runs you can before you loose all 10 wickets. The bowler will bowl at varied speeds but it's quite easy to score runs as long as you beware the straight ones. P45 rating ***
Ashes desktop challenge: Not a million miles away from the tabletop childhood game of yore Test Match Cricket. Addictive but ultimately quite frustrating, much like the Ashes then. P45 rating ****
Little Master Cricket: One of our favourites. Ever. The best internet games share the same characteristics ? they're simple and they're fiendishly addictive. We're grateful to Mark Jones for suggesting this little beauty. "Try to beat my high score of 366," he says, "either in a Pietersen like smashathon, or in an Boycott-type forward defensive inspired resolute innings." Our best? A hard-hitting 107 after 45 minutes determined effort. P45 rating ****
Battrick: "The Barmy Army is all over the game," so 'Shailes' tells us. Manage a cricket team against others from across the globe in First Class, 50- and 20-over competitions, as well as buying, selling, and ground-developing. Like the football version, Hat-trick, which you can find below, you've got to be in for the long haul on this one. P45 Rating ****
Stick Cricket: Takes a while to get the knack of, but worth the effort for the first time you knock Dennis Lillee out of the ground. P45 rating: ****
Slog Cricket: You are the bat! Pretty simple. Until it gets quite hard. P45 rating: ***
Ashes2Ashes zombie cricket: This game has entertaining graphics as Ricky Ponting-lookalike zombies limp towards the batsman whenever he fails to crack a six. But the dimensions are not quite right, making it really tricky to judge when to hit the ball. Or maybe we're just bad at cricket. P45 rating ***
FOOTBALL
World Cup soccer slime: Part of the much-maligned slime-sports series, this game will
leave you stuck in your chair all day long. There is a strict no 'goal-hanging' policy and failure to comply with this rule results in losing a goal. Score a hat-trick on the other hand, and you'll be the coolest kid in town with a flowing moustache. P45 rating ***
Soccer Star: If you're looking for a game with pure drama, emotion and unpredictability look no further. No danger of goal droughts here ? the goal to shot ratio is outrageously high. And the celebrations aren't bad either. Just don't rely on your goalkeeper and you'll go far. P45 rating ***
Missing Men: The clock is ticking and you have to work out who played where in some classic European club games down the years. One for football nerds to revel in. P45 rating **
Zombie Football: Hot on the heels of the popular Zombie Cricket comes its footballing brother. There's a little more to it ? angles and movement ? and you can pick your Premier League side. Frighteningly good. P45 rating ****
The Hand of Henry: This game is all in French but it's easy enough to work out how to 'jouer'. The graphics are basic but it's fun to play. My score: France 31-1 Ireland. Pretty handy.
P45 rating **
Gaelic Football Challenge: Take on a quick seven-a-side game, or register for the All-Ireland Championship mode for a more immersive experience. Shades of Sensible Soccer give this decent playability, though you may need some interest in Gaelic Football to get the most out of it. P45 rating ***
Jumpers for Goalposts: Start from the bottom and work your way up, gaining contracts, international honours and, most importantly, girls along the way. Surprisingly addictive for an abstract football-based RPG. P45 rating ****
Bumperball: "It's football, but in bumper cars, on an ice rink," writes Nathan Jones. "What is there not to love?" Erm ... P45 rating ***
Football Agent: Buy! Sell! Be the Mr 10% and rake in enough cash to buy a mansion. Tough, but in a good way. P45 rating ****
Super Soccer: Finally a football game which doesn't involve posing as a faded star playing keepy-uppy. Sadly, despite reading the instructions three times, we're rubbish at it. Hours must be spent perfecting our skills, clearly. P45 rating ***
Volley Challenge 07/08: Pick your team, play a season, and make your striker hump the ball over the crossbar. Over and over again. P45 rating ***
Free-kick Fusion: As suggested by Zach Parrott: "This game ruined my summer job during WC 2006. It's amazing because you compulsively seek a higher and higher score. You're only inches away from the next level each time!" P45 rating **
RUGBY
RBS Drop Kick: Watch for the scrum-half's signal, catch his pass and ping the ball between the posts. Not as easy as it sounds. P45 rating **
Flick n Kick rugby: A peculiar little game, this is a combination of digital Subbuteo and rugby. Of course, it's so obvious. Pick up points for avoiding tackles, collecting power-ups (if you're playing Wales you can turn into a dragon, no less), and of course scoring tries and conversions. Won't get you the sack, but will amuse for a few minutes. P45 rating **
Game of 3 Halves: A kind of Sensible Rugby, but with three of your fellas taking on an entire team of opposition. And a streaker. And a sheep. P45 rating ***
GOLF
Lumix World Golf: Travel the world, see the sights ... play crazy golf. Negotiate courses based around Easter Island, Sydney harbour and the Big Apple, among others, all with just your putter and a keen appreciation of angles.
P45 rating ****
Office Minigolf: "That's the game that you really play in the office ? for sure after your colleagues have gone," chuckles someone called simply 'Joe', before adding: "nice dice". We're not sure what he means but this is a quirky, playable effort. P45 rating ***
Cat with a bow golf: Ah, golf. Funny trousers, silly terminology and a cat firing itself at a target with a bow and arrow. A good walk ruined. P45 rating ****
Golf Drive: Apparently it's a "relaxing game of golf the prehistoric way". Very tricky, but very nice graphics and takes a bit of thought. P45 rating ****
Mini Putt 2: We suggest organising an office championship (our best score is 33, by the way). P45 rating *****
Crazy Golf: See if you can resist the temptation to give it a whack and hope for the best. P45 rating ***
Driving Mad: Driving in the Tiger Woods sense, not Kimi Raikkonen, this is another game which sets you simple targets and even tells you you're great when you're not [like us]. Bonus points for taking down the odd pigeon, too. P45 rating ***
Pandaf Golf: Slightly insane, very annoying sound effects, but rather addictive all the same. "This one is a definite candidate for rapid P45 delivery. Once you have finished the 100 or so levels you can make up your own layouts!" squeals Mark Bermingham, probably clapping his hands, too. P45 rating ****
World Golf Tour: Very impressive graphics for a free online game and pretty playable too. "This one cost me a pay rise last year," writes Neil McCallum. "A quick nine without the boss noticing is as much a challenge as the game itself."
P45 rating ****
Galactic Gravity Golf: Based on the admittedly flimsy premise that golf in space would be made more difficult by planets' gravitation pull it proves fiendishly addictive if a little unrealistic. P45 rating ***
Tiger Woods Outrun: Imagine you're a golfer being chased by a golf club-wielding blonde and you must avoid a series of obstacles including trees and fire hydrants. It would never happen in the real world, of course, but it's fun to pretend. P45 rating ***
TENNIS
Tennis Ace: "I think this is the best tennis game ? it has a practice option and three levels of difficulty too. Nice umpiring too!" says Bryan Coleman. Be warned, you'll be a lot better in training than in the match ... P45 rating ***
The Optus tennis challenge: Keepy-uppy with a tennis ball, essentially ? but pity the poor souls with time enough on their hands to notch up high scores of close to 2000. P45 rating: ***
BOWLING
League Bowling: Enjoyably retro. P45 rating: ***
Super Bowling: Ego-boostingly simple to play. Get that swerve on. P45 rating ****
WINTER SPORTS
Ice racer: It's got some great old school "Track & Field" keyboard bashing to start each race, followed by what at first appears to be a reasonably straightforward bobsleigh run ? except your fingers have to do the opposite to what your brain instinctively thinks it should do; ie a left turn means you press the right arrow key (and vice versa of course!). First few runs ? easy, then the competition hots up and you realise after adding your name to the online leaderboard that your proud score places you 68,534 ? meaning you're actually quite rubbish. The only way to improve? Spend even more time playing the game. Highly addictive. P45 rating *****
Horace goes skiing: Not big or particularly clever, but it's a trip down memory lane for anyone who once owned a ZX81. P45 rating **
PUB SPORTS
Eight-ball quick-fire pool: The clue is in the name for this one. Of course accuracy, lining up your shots and not downing the white every other shot help but essentially this game is about hitting them balls quick and hard. P45 rating ****
English Pub Pool: Cracking physics, plenty of options so you can keep the rules exactly as you have them when at the pub, and includes the tear-inducing moment as you realise you've accidentally knocked in the black. All that, and opponents with low rent names. P45 rating ****
Let's Play Darts: Mark Ingle suggests this little beauty from Holland. "The best bit (other than hitting multiple 180s) is the sound effects, delivered by a genuine dart scorer legend," says Mark. There's also a daily Top 100 score board. Our best? 22.2sec. Oh yeah. P45 rating ****
Lightning Break: Easy controls, simple objectives, endlessly entertaining.
P45 rating ****
Blast Billiards: Ian Gale calls this "a fiendishly addictive way to waste an hour or three at work". Even though we're shamefully useless at this game, we're inclined to agree. And they've added side spin options in the later versions, for anyone who just needs more control. P45 rating: *****
AMERICAN SPORTS
Flag Football: For those of you who remember NFL Blitz on the Playstation will love this game because it's basically an online version of the same premise. You can choose different plays, orchestrate tactics and try and score those magical touchdowns. Definitely one for the tactical geniuses though. P45 rating **
Urban Basketball: It takes time to get used to the controls, but once you are involved, this game is infectious. Score loopy 3-pointers or simply slam dunk your way to victory in a 2-on-2 duel. But special mention must be given to the added feature of 'chase-downs' ? whereby you run back to know the ball out of the oppositions hands. "Get that weak stuff outta here"! P45 rating ***
Quick hit football: This American football game is just so simple, fun and addictive that you will actually beginning to understand and take an interest in the sport. P45 rating ****
Basketball: Not got the required inches to be a master of the hoops? Well, now you don't need to. This little gem of a game tests your prowess at judging height and distance and gives you a new area of the court to shoot from with every shot you take. You can also see how you rank against other work-shy competitors around the globe. Simple and very addictive. P45 rating ***
Pinch Hitter 2: Take a strange large-headed boy from hitting balls in his backyard to the major league. With hour upon hour of practice of course. P45 rating ***
Trick hoops challenge: This one is all about showing off with the most outrageous attempts at the basket, if you can get it in off the wall you are far better than us. P45 rating ***
Baseball: Badda-badda?..Shwiiiiiiiiiiiing?..badda-badda. It's the bottom of the ninth, you need two runs for victory and there's a gum-chewing schmuck on the pitching mound with some curve-balls up his sleeve. Swing for the sweet-spot.
P45 rating ****
HORSES AND DOGS
Steeplechase Challenge: There's something deeply retro about this one. The secret is in judicious use of the whip and perfect timing in the jump. P45 rating *** (***** if your betting syndicate is rumbled)
Greyhound Racer Rampage: Greyhound training crossed with Guitar Hero doesn't sound the most thrilling combination, but the pride we felt when our dog - Carl - finally crossed the finish line first ... well, it was emotional, put it that way. Quirky, clever and made with a bit of love. P45 rating ***
MOTOR SPORTS
Formula G1: Enough to satisfy any petrol head's need for speed while stuck in the office. Accelerate around courses, bounce off the sides, and hit boost arrows to beat your best time. Unlock new tracks and hovermobiles as you advance through the game. P45 rating ***
Stick Rally X: Despite the name, this very playable top-down rally romp is about as un-'sticky' as they get. Like a more sober version of Micro Machines, you get to whizz around various dirt tracks, unlocking new circuits and cars along the way. Want to go faster? Then hit that nitro boost button, baby! P45 rating ***
Stunt Dirt Bike: A mix of impressive acceleration and chronic problems with staying vertical make this the Didier Drogba of internet sports games. Much more popular around the office though. P45 rating ****
Drag Racing: Sadly, no 15st blokes hotfooting it on heels here. But sneaking a win on the line in a Honda Civic is enjoyment enough. P45 rating ***
OLD SCHOOL
Sidering knockout: A old style beat 'em up with energy bars and combo moves. Take your humble slugger up through ranks and finally earn a title fight. P45 rating ***
Denise Lewis Heptathlon: While it is not the most covert operation (bashing the B and N keys for all your worth) and is likely to cause debilitating finger cramps, this old style arcade game is maddeningly addictive. P45 rating *****
ATHLETICS
QWOP Athletics: From the people who brought you Little Master cricket, here's a game in which you control an athletes calves and thighs. Anyone who can do more than spasm and fall over deserves some sort of prize. P45 rating **
Janey Thomson's marathon: This is a finger-clicking nightmare of a game that is likely to reduce your life expectancy. It was removed from arcades after its release in 1984 because kids found it too tiring. You have been warned ... P45 rating **
WATER SPORTS
Kayak King: "Bad title pun aside, this canoe game is pretty damn addictive," says Jack Iles. We enjoyed the first level. Then found it infuriatingly difficult.
P45 rating **
CYCLING
King of the Road: This finger-bashing effort tries to recreate the Tour de France. Its replete with photographers and dogs to halt your progress and is reminiscent of Daley Thompson's Decathlon. P45 rating ****
TABLE TENNIS
3-D Pong: Just when you thought pong couldn't get any better, they go and make it 3D. So hard you will inevitably spend hours of company time playing it. P45 rating ****
Table Tennis: Rob Bentham reckons "it's really addictive, and sounds great as well". We reckon it may be a little infuriating. P45 rating: If self-confessed temp Rob is anything to go by, ****
Celebrity table tennis: Rallying a host of celebrities is appealing at first, but quickly loses its glamour as Mr T fails to return even the softest of backhands. After cruising through the early rounds, pop-stars Lady Gaga and JayZ prove a challenge, but the initial enthusiasm has already deteriorated. I pity the fool that plays this. P45 rating ***
Rong: It's ping-pong Jim, but not as we know it. Rather ridiculously addictive P45 rating *****
MISCELLANEOUS
OK, so these are not strictly sports. But they should be.
Ball Blitz: Use your balls to knock the other guys balls out of the ring. It's life in flash game format. P45 rating ***
Crash Test Dummy Olympics: There's not much to these events, but getting them right is infuriatingly tough. A guaranteed time-waster. P45 rating ***
Escapa: This has got office tournament written all over it. You are a red square trying to escape the accelerating wrath of some blue squares. Get anywhere near 20 and you're doing well. 19.966 since you ask. P45 rating ***
Yeti Sports: All the Pingu smacking fun you can handle, on one site. Repetitive, but strangely pleasurable. P45 rating ***
Home Run: Admittedly, this isn't strictly a sports game but it can technically be shoehorned into the Pub Sports category. Stop yourself from keeling over as you stagger home after a beer too many. Mindlessly simple and therefore highly amusing. Bet you can't beat 200m. P45 rating ***
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/may/27/games.toys
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